Setting Up Borders To Those Closest To Us

"Funny how we create borders with those we are closest to. Actually, when I think about it, it's not funny at all. " - GRX Blog

How many of your secrets are shielded from your family? How many of those secrets have been easily spilled to your friends and strangers outside of your family? It's true my family doesn't know every little thing about me but they do know things about me that outsiders wouldn't know.

How is it that some people are able to freely share their hearts and minds with strangers yet find it hard to put together the words to express simple frustrations, fears, mistakes or emotions?

Why are there these borders to those we are closest to?

I always used to make an excuse that my family wasn't as open to conversation as OTHER families or that we were never expressive with our emotions (no "I love yous" or hugs or kisses without feeling awkward). I remember ending a phone call with my mom in college once with "I love you" and it seemed to catch her off-guard a little. I had earlier overheard my roommate and friends on the phone with their families sharing such affectionate terms without even skipping a beat. I wanted to give it a try too. I'm not gonna lie. It felt weird.

Maybe we just had an understanding we loved each other. But then I see all these movies or unexpected events and think to myself, you never know when something's gonna happen and you'll regret not saying what you needed to say.

To start crumbling these borders, I've made a conscious effort to express these "already known" emotions. It's getting a bit easier, but still feels weird sometimes.

But alas, this is just the tip of the iceberg for more communication to come. Growing up and learning life's lessons 6,900+ miles away from your family isn't an easy feat - there's bound to be a lot things I don't understand or see just yet. They could help. But my questions and thoughts are caught in my throat.

Why is it so hard to talk to those closest to us? Or is it just me?