Babbling and Feelings

Oh, it's so hard to write stuff when all I feel are emotions. Words really can't express how I feel, and as an aspiring writer, this really sucks!

I wanted to write something inspiring but all I can think about is silly giddiness and a drooling drunkbunny and a soft chewy center that awaits amidst all these indescribable emotions.

You know how when you're really excited about something and can't wait to shout it out, but you're holding yourself back. You can literally see those chains you've placed around you - let me say it, let me say it before I explode! I'm awful with secrets - and surprises too.

You know what I love too? Punctuation. It does so much. Reading is like listening to a story book on cassette. But with the right punctuation, it's like a little movie. Oh the drama. Oh the suspense. You must be thinking: what the heck is she talking about?

Sorry. =) Haha my mind is all over place and still in one place at the same time.

I was going through some of my old stuff prior the renovation. I found my stories: No Such Thing As Love, First Love First Everything, Chinese Rose and The Wanderer. I don't suppose I've ever laughed so hard in disbelief and amusement. What was I thinking? How did ANYONE cry from reading that story (Chinese Rose)? The storylines were so simple, hardly even developed and I somehow pieced it all together and made it a "short story". Well, yeah, it's not a novel, but back then it was to me - works of a 15-16 year old. I'm so proud of "The Wanderer" - even though it remains unfinished. Alisa has just been raped by her demon husband.

Yeah, pretty dark stuff. Definitely influenced by the books I used to love reading.

I know that writing is what I was meant to do. It only took one trip to San Francisco and a meeting with a creative recruiter for it to dawn on me. It's nice to have some sort of direction. It's also frustrating knowing that it could be a hit or miss.

Maybe I can spend the rest of my life being a grammar and spelling nazi. God have mercy on me.