Why I am Chinese

I am Chinese because I have Chinese blood running through my veins. I love dim sum, tea, silk, noodles and I eat with chopsticks (I am very skilled in the art of chopsticking). A lot Chinese customs and the importance of family play a big role in my life. I always have random Chinese culture tidbits (if not superstitions) that I love sharing with other people. "Did you know that if a girl doesn't eat all the rice in her bowl, those leftover rice pieces will become pockmarks on the face of her future husband?" I speak Chinese and think traditional is so much more beautiful and refined than simplified. I turn pink whenever I drink alcohol (the Asian glow). I could probably rock a qi pao and beat you in mahjong.

But despite growing up with all these Chinese traditions, I am also greatly influenced by western culture: the way I dress, the way I talk and express myself, the way I act. When I read Chinese, it doesn't come as second nature to me, I read (very) slowly and translate what I read into English in my head before moving on. Although I learned it simultaneously with English, Chinese is not my first language. I have not learned Chinese history and everything I do know I learned from professors in college or from TV (and not surprisingly, also in English), it makes me sad that I'm missing that historical cultural aspect of being Chinese. The what dynasty? Emperor who? Chinese on the outside, but hollow or crème-filled on the inside. I like to think that it’s never too late to learn. Back home, I’m considered a gwai mui (ghost girl), but here, because I can speak another language, I’m just another “authentic” Asian girl. Or a banana or a twinkie. Yum.